Bear Apparent
Whether you’re a Bond villain, stuck in Jumanji or just looking to spice up your ski chalet in the woods, summer is the time to... stock up on bearskin rugs. We know you have options, but here are the best five. Pinch yourself. This is really happening.
THE BLACK BEARLike a Bearskin Rug Starter Kit
You require: A good old-fashioned bearskin rug for your living room, game room or newly designated bearskin-rug room.
You’ll receive: The hide of a large adult male black bear with its mouth open and teeth exposed. Just like Grandma would’ve made if she made bearskin rugs.
A Very Rare Specimen Indeed
You require: Something you’d like to hear described in David Attenborough’s voice.
You’ll receive: The fur of a Kermode bear, also called the “spirit bear.” They’re incredibly rare. They only live in the Great Bear Rainforest in British Columbia. And... yeah, they’re incredibly rare.
We’ll Explain as Slowly as Possible
You require: Something to lay beside your four-poster bed. Perhaps a special cape.
You’ll receive: An antique sloth bearskin by Van-Ingen—one of the largest taxidermy outfitters in the world back in the early 1900s. Apparently they couldn’t keep up with all those sloth bears.
We Didn’t Forget You, White Bears
You require: Some new flair for your all-white room. Assuming you... have one of those.
You’ll receive: A polar bear floor covering that was imported pre-1972, thus making it legal to buy and sell in compliance with the Marine Mammal Protection Act of 1972. Which we promise is a thing.
The Most Specific Species of Bear Ever
You require: A welcome ornament for your cabin’s porch railing. Something like a full-size taxidermy black bear that’s been posed to lay recumbent, with one arm outstretched. As if to say, “Who, me? I just do this.”